THERE WILL BE BLOOD: I have yet to see this, but I’ll comment anyway. I’m sure it’s a well crafted, well filmed, well acted movie. But it’s almost 3 hours long, and the biggest fans of this movie are film buffs. What’s that mean? Probably that I won’t get it, but I’ll pretend to so I can converse with my L.A. friends. I like Paul Thomas Anderson when he directs movie about the porn industry. But as far as I know, Heather Graham doesn’t get naked in this. Plus, I have a beef with Paul Dano; he failed to show up at my friend’s fundraiser because he was too busy promoting this film.
MICHAEL CLAYTON: This is the clear winner for worst title. Michael Clayton? They made a movie based on a Wide Receiver for the Bucs. (You would think after Meet Joe Black, The Life of David Gale. Dolores Claiborne; they would stop using people’s names as titles.) I did see this movie, and at the end, I thought, that was nice. The reviewers boasted that it's a top-notch political thriller! If that means it's a solid 100 minute picture that could’ve been wrapped up in about 10 minutes, then I totally agree. It’s not a bad movie, but best picture? Are you serious?
JUNO: This movie was cute. There has to be one cute movie every year that’s nominated. (Little Miss Sunshine, Sideways, Chocolat, Four wedding and a Funeral.) It will never win and it’s only nominated because there’s nothing else. I liked the movie, but will probably never see it again.
*Sidenote* My personal ratings of movies are based on how many times I can watch it over and over again. Like if Juno was on TBS right now, would I be psyched to watch it? Does it get better each time? Can I quote from it? That’s why my personal favorite movie is Back to the Future. I can watch it anytime and anywhere. Perfect script. Perfect story. And I bet if someone came up with the movie today, no studio would have the balls to make it. (What studio would make a sci-fi, period piece, action, romantic comedy with Freudian undertones?) No way. I love Back to the Future so much that I walked out on a date when she made fun of me and my selection. (Obviously, the sequels are a different story, but we won’t get into that right now.) To quote a random Larry King book review: “If you don’t like this, I don’t like you.”
ATONEMENT: I have not seen this and have no idea what it’s about. The title reminds me of Yom Kippur which then reminds me of fasting and going to temple. Which reminds me of being hungry and bored. So I doubt I’ll see this until it wins the award and everyone tells me I have to.
*Sidenote#2* I re-watched Knocked Up the other day and was very disappointed. On first viewing, I liked it a lot. I was able to overcome my annoying date that accompanied me (and her smelly sandwich,) and still had a good experience. But on the second viewing, I was bored. Rogen, who I love, was actually kind’ve annoying, and I fast forwarded through the DVD. There were still some laugh out loud scenes (Paul Rudd was great), but overall I was fairly disappointed. I may have to remove it from my top 200 favorite movies. (I have to re-watch Superbad and hope it doesn’t fall into the same category.) But on a good note, I learned a very important lesson from the movie. If you hook up with a girl that’s much more attractive than you, then just get her pregnant, and then she’ll learn to like you. So that’s a good thing.
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN: This is probably the winner for me. The movie reminded me of Pulp Fiction because of its intensity and the fact that I had no idea what would happen next. Javier Bartem played one of the best villains of all-time. (Possibly, even better than the bad guy from Twins.) Bartem’s character gets extra props for his original weapon choice. And I loved the gas station scene where some old guy’s life hinges on a coin toss and he doesn’t even know it. Too bad the film gets “Sopranos” on us in the end, but I’ll forgive it because the rest of the film is so good.
Full Trailer: KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE
8 hours ago