I came up with an epiphany on Saturday night at about midnight. I’m at a packed bar getting elbowed left and right searching for a girl to speak to. (As a single man, weekend nights are working nights—you need to get as many numbers as possible because going out during the week is just too exhausting.) A number of girls walked by and they’re all unattractive. All of them. What the hell? It was statistically impossible. Then it occurred to me, all the semi-attractive girls and better are hibernating for the winter. They’ve already found their man. Think about it. You think they’d rather go to a busy bar in five layers and maybe meet a cool guy or stay home with their winter boyfriend, order in, cuddle, and watch the latest Kate Hudson movie. If you notice, that’s why it’s so easy to meet girls in October; they’re finding their man so they can hibernate for the winter.
My only hope is for global warming to kick in so the weather can warm up. So please, for me, don't recylce, burn fossil fuels, and help support pollution. Thanks so much.
Back to the '90s On Wednesday
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