Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Freestyle Mix #2

Celtic Pride

The Celtic’s annihilation of ATL in game 7 was scary. Not because the Celtics played so well, but because they were so excited by the win. Garnett celebrated with the “throat slash” gesture, and a hard, dirty foul on his new nemesis, Zaza Pachulia. The rest of the team hooted and hollered. It was like they never won before. It was Atlanta, guys. Relax. It will be interesting how they play against Lebron and the gang especially when the games are close. It is obvious that the go-to-guy is Pierce. At the end of Game 6, they still wanted to him to take the 3 even though had had already fouled out and was on the bench. The Celts match-up better with the Cavs, but after their round 1 performance, they’re not so intimidating.

NHL Playoffs

I thought hockey was still on strike?

The Big 4

There’s MLB, the NBA, the NFL and now…what is the 4th? It’s obviously not the NHL. What takes its place? PGA, MLS, UFC, Arena football? And sorry my hick readers, Nascar is not a sport and does not count. Any thoughts?

There’s No Place Like Home

While I was on vacation in LA, the Red Sox lost five games in a row. Since I’ve returned home, they are 6-1 with 2 walk-offs. Coincidence? I think not.

Annoying or Annoyinger

Who would you rather be locked in a room with for 8 hours---Stuart Scott or Stephen A. Smith?

Cable Movie of the Month

Inside Man: How come nobody talked about this movie when it came out? I've re-wathced this 4 times in the last month. Yeah, I know, I watch too much TV. But it was a great movie. Definitely check it out.

Subway Cookies

The most underrated cookies out there. They’ve got chocolate chip, peanut butter, white chocolate macadamia, and my favorite M&M. They’ll warm it up for you and it’s nice and gooey. Delicious.

Smushy cookies vs. Crispy cookies: This is a no-brainer. Does anyone like crispy cookies? The secret to making cookies is to undercook them by two minutes. This creates a smushy, delicious sensation. While smushy cookies melt in your mouth, cripsy cookies just crumble everywhere. They’re hard to eat. And they truthfully take the fun out of cookies. Gimme a smushy cookie over crispy cookie any day of the week.

The Nagger

Not since the infamous South Park episode (http://www.jibjab.com/view/143654) has this word meant so much to me. People who annoy you. Try going on a blind date with a nagger. “It’s cold in here.” “The music is too loud.” “Our waitress is rude.” OK. I got it. Everything is bad. Can I go home now?

And the worst part, she wasn’t even cute.

The Set Up

You have to meet my niece—she is beautiful, funny, sweet.

She was actually the nagger from above. Enough said.

A Bad Sign

You know you’re on a bad date, when in the middle, you’re deciding which porn you’re gonna watch later.

The Best Game of My Life

Two weeks ago my friend, PS, invited me to the Knicks game at MSG. It was free and they were playing the Celtics. I still didn’t want to go. But then he mentioned one more thing: FREE CONCESSIONS. Yeah, right. You probably get a free bag of peanuts. But it was enough of a temptation…I’m in.

CUT TO:

The greatest time of my life. For those who didn’t read about it, the New York Knicks and MSG gave away everything (except beer) for free. It was an apology for the abysmal season. Even David Lee got on the mic before the game to apologize to the crowd. His last words before going on to lose to the Celtics bench: “Enjoy the free food.” He got a standing ovation.

When I say free, I mean free. People went up to the counter and would order 6 pizzas. Two dropped on the floor; so what—they had 4 left. There were no lines because everything was ready to go. I’ve never seen New Yorkers so happy in my life. No rules. No lines. No money. Smiling faces. Peace on Earth.

I consumed chicken fingers, french fries, 2 hot dogs, ice cream, a different kind of ice cream, a hamburger, kettle corn, pizza, popcorn, a candy bar, crunch n munch, and 3 liters of coca-cola. I was like Frank Drebin’s buddy Ed at the Angels game in Naked Gun.

My favorite moment was when a man on his cell phone walked by a pretzel vendor. They must’ve caught eyes because as cellphone guy kept his pace, the pretzel-man threw him a no-look pretzel pass. Cellphone man caught it in mid stride and consumed his pretzel while still talking and walking. It was awesome!

At the end of the night, the Knicks lost again. But the crowd won. We were nauseous, but the good kind of nauseous. The one where you know you just ate $100 worth of food. People left with crates of candy bars, chips, popcorn and more. It was like Y2K and everyone was heading for their bomb shelter.

It was the best game of my life. I never though I’d say it. But you gotta love the Knicks!

1 comment:

Gavin said...

good stuff on the Knicks game. Also, even on good dates, I would still think about what porn I was going to watch when I got home.