I’ve been on the March Madness websites and read all the articles on the tournament. They do an excellent job of analyzing strategies, match-ups, and coaching. So the last thing you need is an amateur doing the same thing. I’ve decided to make my picks based on something far superior; personal connections to the school and its alumni.
MY FINAL FOUR:
TEXAS: I’ve been to Austin and partied on 6th street; a very fun time. I’m also currently dating a girl that went to UT. Choosing Texas is a test whether this relationship is serious or not. If Texas makes it to the final four, then I will commit to this girl. If not, I will move on. (This rationale could be why I’m still single.)
UCLA: I chose UCLA for one very important reason: Didi Reese! This ice cream shop/bakery in Westwood, CA has the best deal in the country. Two fresh baked cookies filled with the ice cream of your choice for only $1. Apparently, the sandwiches have risen (inexplicably) to $1.25, but they’re still amazing. UCLA is a lock.
UNC: Three years ago my friend and I traveled to Costa Rica. On our travels, we met two beautiful girls who attended the University of North Carolina, Kim and Kasey. We stalked them across the country and eventually bumped paths with them at the end of our trip. A heated romance followed (by heated romance, I mean nothing happened, but they were hot so I’m picking UNC.)
GEORGETOWN: One name comes to mind when I read about Georgetown: Hot Jessica, a former classmate. She got drunk once, and accidentally kissed me. Definitely a good sign that G-Town is making the Final 4.
ARIZONA: Me and my buddy, PA, hung out at the Tucson campus a few years ago. The girls were hot, horny, and loved to drink. One night in Tucson (drinks at Dirtbag’s, food at Bison Witches) was better than four years in Medford, MA. A pair of blondes drank us under the table and invited us back to their place. Unfortunately, we lost the address and failed to get their cell phone number. (It ended up being a miserable night.) But the point is this: we had the chance for a spectacular run and so does Arizona.
TEMPLE: I just got back from Israel and got in touch with my spiritual side. So choosing Temple is a no-brainer. They also have a guy named Christmas on their team. If I’m right, Christmakah could come early this year.
SOUTH ALABAMA: While I was working for The Price is Right, I met a few hick chicks from Alabama. Some may have described them as trashy, but I thought they were endearing. When one offered a co-worker some “lovin'” to be moved up in line for the show, I learned how dedicated these people were. They make things happen.
GEORGE MASON: I know a girl from this school with a tattoo on her left breast. Enough said.
UNC 75 UCLA 70
Good luck with your brackets and sneaking out of work to watch all the games.
Enjoy the madness!!!
Now That Was a Wacky 2:05
9 hours ago