Wednesday, July 22, 2009

UNDERRATED

A couple of months ago I made my OVERRATED list (Click Here to see it.) It wouldn’t be fair unless I did the opposite and made an UNDERRATED list as well. The following items, foods, sayings, people, TV shows, and things have all made my list. They may get acknowledged, but I feel they are underappreciated or taken for granted, and therefore UNDERRATED.

The Bikini

This may be a surprising item on my list since the bikini is celebrated all summer, and is most noticeably recognized in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. But the bikini has lost its popularity in recent years. Since it’s so easy to access naked pictures of women on the internet, men have lost their fascination with the two piece bathing suit. Men have become so spoiled that they’re no longer satisfied with ANY clothes on a woman. They want to see everything, and with one click of a button or an entry fee to a strip club, they can.

So I wanted to write this to remind men of the beauty and elegance of the bikini. There’s nothing sexier then when a woman first arrives to the pool/beach (for NYC: the park,) and slowly peels off her clothes. First, the tank top vanishes; then the skirt slides off. And just like that, she’s in her bra and panties aka her bathing suit. She doesn’t show off everything which makes it sexy and classy at the same time. And it’s exciting because she leaves you wanting more.

It’s a fascinating phenomenon because if a girl walked around in just her bra and underwear, she would be shunned. But the bikini implies fun and sun, and is accepted even though it’s the same thing. This is a major feat considering our society is so conservative when it comes to sex and nudity.

So the next time you’re at the beach, put on your sunglasses, and take a look around. Soak in the array of women in their bikinis, and celebrate them in all of their glory.

The Office Massage Guy

No matter where you work, there always seems to be a co-worker who takes on the role as the massage guy. He surprises you from behind, starts squeezing your shoulders, and usually gives you a little pep talk.

You cringe when you talk about him to your friends and co-workers. You don’t want some dude rubbing you. But for some reason, when you’re feeling stressed at work, you sort of hope that the massage guy stops by. Each time he kneads your shoulders, your tension oozes away. You pretend to hate it; like nothing could be more awkward. But secretly you love it, and are always disappointed when he finishes only after a few moments.

It’s time we give massage guy his full credit. He should be honored not mocked.

Getting Your Hair Washed

Men may not admit this, but getting your hair washed is an incredible experience. When I roll into the salon, my first thoughts aren’t about hairstyle or hair gel; it’s all about the hair wash.

This is dedicated to Olga, my 50 year-old hair washing lady:

Her fingers are strong and firm, and her shampoos are rich and silky. She carefully showers my head in warm water, and then runs her delicate fingers through my hair. She caresses my strands with shampoo while massaging my scalp at the same time. The suds build up and quickly roll into the sink. She then coats my hair in conditioner and her magical hands roam to my neck for a short, soothing massage. For the finale, she lightly presses her thumbs to my temples, scratches my head at the same time, and makes all of my worries go away.

She gently lifts up my head, and I open my eyes. Where am I? I wonder if the last few minutes were a dream.

Nope, it was just me getting my hair washed.

Cookies from Pre-Made Cookie Dough

I am no chef. I can barely cook. But one of the few things that I can make is cookies from pre-made cookie dough. Most will say that doesn’t count. Well, why not? Once you try these cookies, maybe you’ll change your mind.

The key to baking pre-made cookie dough is by undercooking the cookies by at least two minutes. I don’t care what the packaging says. I don’t care if they look too squishy out of the oven. Take them out; let them cool; and then peel them off the baking sheet. You will have the squishiest, gooiest, tastiest cookies you’ve ever tried.

Pre-made cookies don’t get their props because they’re pre-made instead of homemade. Well, I’d put up these cookies against any cookie out there. I baked these cookies for my girlfriend on our second date, and despite my chronic nagging and odd habits, she’s still with me. The cookies had to have helped.

Cracking

My name is Paul and I’m addicted to cracking my knuckles, toes, neck, back, ankles, knees, shoulders, etc. I first started in middle school when a “cool” friend told me to do it. After that, I couldn’t stop.

People (mostly my Mom) have deterred me from cracking my body parts. They say it sounds awful, and it gives you arthritis. But I actually like the sound, and according to Dr. Nick Riviera from The Simpsons, it can actually be good for you. What people fail to realize is how damn good it feels, and that’s why it’s underrated.

Imagine taking all of your tension, and fitting it into a pocket of air; like a balloon. It expands and expands until it suddenly POPS! When the balloon bursts, all of your tension vanishes for a brief moment. That’s what cracking is like. It’s a constant relief from stress and anxiety.

Cracking has always been frowned upon, but I think it’s time for it to be accepted.

The Ice Cream Truck

The Ice Cream Truck is a staple of everyone’s childhood. Even today when that ice cream truck chimes, you know exactly what it is, and there is definitely some excitement in the air. Thoughts of fudgsicles, chocolate éclairs, and push-ups enter your mind, and you might just chase down that truck for some sweets and fond memories. (I was always fond of the Chipwich—delicious!)

When you think about it, the ice cream truck is the only one of its kind. There is no pizza truck or cookie truck that drives around (It would be awesome if there was, but I’ve never seen them.) The ice cream truck stands alone. And it’s been around forever.

The ice cream truck can be a little sketchy, and the jingles are clearly annoying and stick in your head. Despite this, we all love it, and need to pay it more respect.

Alone Time

We live in a fast paced society so sometimes we forget about alone time. It’s a period where there are no distractions; no phone calls, no work, no interruptions. It’s peaceful. Alone time is a great time to read a book, watch a movie, and look up tons of porn.

You don’t realize how great it is until your alone time is interrupted.

I still remember watching Shawshank Redemption for the 14th time back in my living room circa 2001. I had the place to myself and was really enjoying the peace and quiet. It was at the climax when Red and Andy were being reunited on the beach. It’s a magical moment. I forgot about all my problems and became a part of the film. My eyes teared up; I was about to cry...

...then my roommates stormed in; loud and obnoxious, they blocked the TV, and started asking me questions. They weren’t overly rude, but they had surely ruined everything. I’d seen the movie 14 times, but it didn’t matter. They had disrupted my alone time. It was then I realized how important that time was, and that I should probably get a TV for my room.

Lemons

When people discuss favorite fruits, the lemon is rarely brought up. And that’s because lemons are not very powerful on their own. Nobody is gonna eat a lemon like an apple, orange, plum or peach. It’s not that kind of fruit. It doesn’t stand on its own. But when it’s paired up with almost anything, it makes it better. The lemon is the wingman of fruits; it doesn’t care about itself, it just wants to improve everything else. For years the lemon has contributed to water, ade, tea, Hefeweizens, meringue pie, squares, cookies, seafood, chicken, and many other goods. It’s time for the lemon to be recognized for its philanthropy and generosity.

Some may knock the lemon because it’s associated with a dud. For example, the new car you just bought doesn’t work; therefore, it’s a lemon. I don’t know who started this, but curse that man. Lemons are great. If anything, let’s change this expression to a “pear.” Pears are odd looking and definitely taste a little funny. Next time, I buy a dud, I’m declaring it a “pear.” Let’s leave the lemon out of it.

Cliffhangers

We like closure. We like conclusions. We like happy endings. But sometimes, we like to be teased as well. There’s a mix of feelings when a TV show or movie ends on a cliffhanger. We are frustrated. We leave wanting more. But we also have something exciting to look forward to. We are giddy in anticipation, and can’t wait to find out what happens next.

This is how I feel at the end of Lost each season. I’m angry that it’s over, but I can’t wait for it to start again; it gives me the chills just thinking about it. And I still salivate at the end of Back to the Future when the “To Be Continued” sign shoots onto the screen.

So sometimes it’s not so bad when you’re left wanting more.

And on that note, my list is not yet finished.

Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion of my UNDERRATED list. For Part II, click here: http://thecorner33.blogspot.com/2009/08/underrated-part-ii.html

3 comments:

Narconon Arrowhead said...

I thought being an alcoholic was underrated. Then my family held an intervention
for me, and I went to rehab.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to comment on the fact that you talk about the The Office Massage Guy in part 1 of your UNDERRATED blog but didnt mention his guest apperance in HIMYM season 4. Just thought that everyone should know that one of your underrated things was in another underrated thing. Oh and if you were wondering when in season 4 I am talking about, it is the episode when Barney(NPH) and Marshall (Jason Segel) try to come up with who in the work place Marshall wants to be and they just discuss the exsisting work place people hince The Office Massage Guy!

Stuff said...

Anonymous,

I know exactly what scene you're talking about in HIMYM. The office massage guy bit was very funny. It's validating to know that the How I Met Your Mother writers and I have a similar sense of humor. Thanks for the comment!