Monday, August 31, 2009

AUSSIE RULES

From August 4th to August 17th, I was in Australia. I didn’t see the whole continent or do anything super extraordinary (like jump out of a plane or visit the reef), but I experienced a lot of cool things. This is what I learned:

Australian Women Love American Men

Women came on to me simply because of my ‘accent.’ These were two shockers for me: girls hitting on me, and “I have an accent?” I started using this to my advantage; speaking loudly so all could hear. Girls liked me; showed me attention; asked me questions. This never happens in the States. I felt like the cool guy in high school. I enjoyed it as much as I could.

That’s when I realized that foreigners do this all the time in the States. Their sexy accents melt our women. So why can’t the same work in reverse? Being a tourist is an amazing way to meet women. You come across as sweet, genuine, and naïve. You don’t know a thing and you openly admit it; women love that. Women are curious to learn about your culture so there’s always something to talk about. And because of your accent, you can say nearly anything, and it becomes interesting, funny, or charming. Plus, women seem to fall for the guy they can’t really be with. Since tourists are only around for a short period of time, women see it as romantic, and will pursue the man faster then normal. It’s almost like women forget about the game, and just have fun. In the end, the tourist almost always wins; he gets to know a beautiful girl, has some great memories, and then moves on with his adventures.

Austrasians

There were a multitude of Asian women in Australia; I called them Austrasians. For those who find Asian girls attractive, just add an Australian accent, and it’s even hotter. One super cute Austrasian girl told me she was not a big fan of Australian men. What kind of men does she like? She looked me straight in the eye, didn’t blink, and said AMERICAN MEN. I then blurted out: “I have a girlfriend.”

I Have a Girlfriend

As an attached man, I could do only so much interacting with women. But my girlfriend, who’s a bartender, encouraged me to flirt and have some fun. Flirting is like window shopping; you can look at as much as you want, but as long as you don’t buy anything, it’s harmless.

Since flirting was kosher, I took full advantage of it. First off, “hitting on women” is so much easier when you have modest intentions. I didn’t need to hook up and as a result, I was relaxed, and felt no pressure. Plus, I was a tourist which made things even easier. In the “singles” world, I would’ve needed to hook up to show success. But as an attached man, all I needed was the assumption that I could’ve hooked up. I suddenly didn’t need to close which is the hardest part of picking up women! It was like the gimme putt in golf (the ball is near the hole, but not quite in) when someone says: “You’re close enough…we’ll give it to you.” So now when I tell stories of my trip, I can say: “Tons of girls wanted to hook up with me.” Whether or not that’s true is not the point (I’m sure it’s not.) The point is that it was fun, harmless, and I was a good boyfriend.

The Tease

Some women came up to me and commented on my accent. Some bought me drinks. Some laughed at my jokes. Some asked me to dance. I would laugh, flirt, and probably lead them on. In the end, when some made more aggressive advances, I had to suddenly deny them.

I then realized that I was pulling the same moves women have pulled on us guys for all these years. I was such a TEASE. It was frightening and powerful all at the same time.

"Where Did You Get That Shirt, Mate?"

Even one dude came up to me when he found out I was from the States. He enthusiastically asked me where I bought my shirt. “The Gap,” I responded. He had never heard of it, but was eager to learn more. He smiled brightly and wrote down the information. He was mystified and excited at the same time. I don’t know if he was hitting on me, but if people liked my Gap clothing, I was definitely in a good place.

Working Girls

My luck with women even occurred at coffee shops. One girl, in her late 30’s, dressed in casual business attire, chatted me up in front of a café. We spoke briefly, and she asked if I was from the States. We flirted for another minute, and I told her to enjoy her coffee break. That’s when she informed me that she was working; she was actually a “working girl.”

I turned red and grew flustered; I was speechless. She then told me it was legal (it is!) so it’s all good. I regretted not chatting more and learning about the seedy craft of working girls, but I was so damn nervous and uncomfortable. I bolted into the coffee shop never to see her again. (Yes, that’s what really happened.)

This is the third continent where a prostitute has tried to pick me up: North America (Las Vegas), South America (Brazil), and now Australia (Sydney.) The worst part is each time I thought they were non-working girls that truly liked me and just wanted to hang out. I'm the guy who thinks strippers really like him too.

Australian Expressions

“G’day, mate.” Put another shrimp on the Barbie.” “There’s a dingo eating your baby.” These terms were not used very often, although “mate” was thrown around a fair amount. A very pretty blonde explained some other Australian terms to me. A bathing suit is called a swimming costume, a thong is a shoe, and a g-string is a g-string. And yes, I was very turned on by this conversation.

Australian Rules Football

My buddy and I attended an Australian League Football game. It was fast paced, high scoring, and a lot of fun to watch; like a combination of rugby and American football.

During the game, I learned a very important lesson. Never “root” on your team. Apparently, to “root” in Australia means to bang, to nail, to shag, etc. Of course, my friend didn’t tell me that right away. I enthusiastically asked a group of 7 year-old kids who they wanted to ROOT for. Which team? Which players? I told them I was ROOTING on #33. They looked petrified and called for their Daddy. Fortunately, the kids forgot about it, but I’m still a little traumatized.

Which Way Does The Toilet Flush?

About 15 years ago, The Simpsons went to Australia. They cause all sorts of trouble, but what Bart really wanted to know was if the toilets really flushed backwards…

…as a huge Simpsons fan, my first project was to find out if, in fact, this was true. I observed the toilet with great focus and excitement. When I pushed the lever, something weird happened. The water unexpectedly just sucked down in one motion. I couldn’t tell. I was very disappointed.
On a bathroom note, I was interested to discover that Australia is a big fan of the trough; very few urinals. It was like the old ballparks where everyone pees wherever they want; like a free for all. I stood on the divider until my friend said he pees on that too. I learned my lesson quickly.

Australia is Expensive

In Sydney, it’s hard to find a meal under $15 ($13, American.) You can’t just get a cheap sandwich or a burger; everything is pricey and it adds up.

But you save money a few ways:

No Tipping

The $6 beer at the bar is the same as $5 because you don’t need to leave that $1 tip. And why is there no tipping? I met a Montreal girl who was a waitress at a nice restaurant. She told me she earns $24/hour. Wow!

B.Y.O.

Almost every restaurant is B.Y.O.: (they’ve shortened their acronym, but it means the same thing) Bring Your Own Booze! The meals were pretty good, but bringing your own beverage made them great. In Melbourne, my friend and I each had 2 40 oz. beers with our meal. We stumbled out happy and a complete mess. It was perfect.

The Sydney Opera House

I did see the Sydney Opera House which I knew about because it was in Finding Nemo. It was a beautiful site and within walking distance of my friend’s apartment.
Batman

My friend’s apartment overlooked the Sydney skyline which was quite beautiful. The coolest part was at sunset. Not only were there beautiful pictures to be taken, but thousands of bats would fly over head from a nearby park; one of the cooler sites I’ve ever seen. I kept thinking Christian Bale was about to take over.

Hangin’ Ten

Speaking of superheroes, I felt like one when I put on my wet suit to go surfing. They’re tight, cling to your body, and you just feel like you can kick some ass. Then I jumped in the water, and proceeded to get crushed by multiple waves. But it’s pretty cool to say I went surfing in Australia especially in the winter.

Tough Winter

I knew that the seasons were reversed. It was winter there; turned out winter is 65 degrees and sunny everyday.

Left Lane Driving

Driving is reversed too. Every time my friend drove, I shouted in fear at least once: “You’re in the wrong lane…we’re all gonna die.” Then I realized that they drive in the left lane in Australia, and I felt like an idiot.

Hungry Jack’s versus Burger King


I love the story of Hungry Jack’s. Apparently, Burger King sold them their logo years ago thinking they would never open shop in Australia. As a result, Hungry Jack’s has the exact same logos, food, and style of Burger King down to The Whopper. Recently, Burger King changed their minds, and has since opened stores in Aussie. So now there are two nearly identical fast food restaurants with different names. Every time I saw Hungry Jack’s, all I could think of was McDowell’s versus McDonald’s in Coming To America. “Look... me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's... I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.”


I Wanna Go the Zoo

I didn’t see Crocodile Dundee, but I did see a crocodile at the zoo. I also saw koalas and kangaroos. I don’t care how old you are; zoos are always fun!

Taking a Ferry to Work

I took the ferry a few times. The view was beautiful. The mood was relaxing. I’ve been in traffic in LA, and been stuffed in subway cars in NYC. Imagine taking a relaxing boat ride to work everyday. I’m sure it gets old, but it sounds pretty amazing to me.

Jet Lag Advice

Sydney is a 14 hour flight from LA plus a 17 hour jump into the future with the time difference. I left on Tuesday night and arrived on Thursday morning. My advice is to sleep on the plane if you can. With the help of Melatonin and an awful Drew Barrymore movie, I was able to sleep for half the flight. When I arrived, I stayed up the entire day, and went to bed at 10 pm. I slept 12 hours, and the next day, I was on Australia time.

Facebook Friends

When I stayed at a Hostel in Melbourne, I realized how huge facebook was. Every single computer was on facebook.com. And these were people from all over the world. It didn’t happen with friendster; it didn’t happen with myspace; but facebook is quickly taking over the world.

I became facebook friends with so many random people: the Yoga instructor from Toronto, 2 flight attendants from New Zealand, 2 female cops from Montreal, 2 Australian/Italian girls that ran my hostel, and a bevy of others. I even thought about adding the ‘working girl’ from the café.

I’ve always loved meeting random people, and now I have a system to keep track of them. Maybe I’ll never speak to them again. But maybe I will. Who knows where I’ll be in the future? Some people may judge me, and even call me a facebook whore because I have so many "friends." But I am proud of my excessive amount of virtual friends, and look forward to adding more!

A Special Thanks

My hosts, Marcy and Chris, were amazing, and so were all of their friends. They took me around the city: to parties, bars, restaurants, and clubs. They took me surfing; they took me lawn bowling; they made me dinner; they showed me how to cook; they introduced me to Australian coffee. Most importantly, they made me smile, laugh, and enjoy every moment of my trip.

Thanks, mates! You guys are awesome! Aussie rules!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Hollywood Invades Our Basements for Movie Ideas

With the recent success of Transformers and G.I. Joe, Hollywood is rummaging through our old basements, play areas, and toy chests for more movie ideas. This is what you might be seeing at a theatre nearest you.
(See if you can spot which ones are actually real; answers will be revealed at the end.)

Uno (2011)

Tagline: There Can Only Be UNO!

Summary: The best and brightest Uno players across the world are brought to a secret, underground game for the competition of their life. The winner will receive one billion dollars. The losers: death.

Starring: Dakota Fanning, Nicolas Cage, Elijah Wood, Christopher Walken
Directed by: John Woo

The Magic 8 Ball (2010)

Tagline: Outlook Not So Good!

Summary: A group of Spring Breakers purchase a magic 8 ball from a creepy shopkeeper (to be played by Samuel L. Jackson.) Little do they know, the toy store is haunted and so is their 8 ball. Horror takes over as each character falls victim to the magic 8 Ball and its predictions. Will they survive? Don’t count on it!

Starring: Megan Fox, The Jonas Brothers, Samuel L. Jackson
Directed by: Eli Roth


The Smurfs (2010)

Tagline: La, la, la, la, la, la… La, la, la, la, la...La, la, la, la, la, la…La, la, la, la, la!

Summary: The adventures of a mythical race of little blue creatures in medieval times that must deal with each other and humans, particularly an evil wizard obsessed with capturing them for his own sinister purposes.

Starring (rumored): John Lithgow, Julia Sweeney
Directed by: Raja Gosnell


View-Master: The Movie (2012)

Tagline: View This!

Summary: The 1939 toy that produces 3-D images is making a comeback in this science-fiction adventure film reminiscent to The Goonies.

To be Written by: Brad Caleb Kane

Barbie & Ken (2011)

Tagline: She’s blonde! She’s beautiful! She’s Barbie!

Summary: The movie is loosely based on the old Random House novels where Barbie and Ken attend a posh high school in New York City. The movie picks up five years after graduation. Barbie and Ken are aspiring actors, and we follow them through their journey to stardom.

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Zac Efron
Directed by: Penny Marshall


Garbage Pail Kids (2011)

Tagline: They’re Back and They’re Messy!

Summary: Itchy Ritchie, No Way Jose, and Drippy Dan are back, and this time, it’s on the big screen thanks to Judd Apatow. A live-action film follows some of the craziest and wackiest babies ever seen on the silver screen. With a cast of Apatow’s all-stars, this is a comedy that cannot be missed.

Starring (rumored): Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Bill Hader, Leslie Mann
To be Written by: Jonah Hill & Jason Segel
To Be Produced/Directed by: Judd Apatow

Monopoly: The Movie! (2012)

Tagline: Pass Go, Collect $200…Just Don’t End Up in Jail!

A dozen characters participate in a real life game of monopoly. Hilarity ensues. The film will be reminiscent to It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and hopes to star several comedians. The Tropic Thunder trio are already rumored to be involved.
Starring (rumored): Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert downey Jr., Robin Williams, Tina Fey
Directed by (rumored): Ben Stiller

Grayskull (2011)

Aka He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

Tagline:
By the Power of Grayskull!

Summary: The most powerful man in the universe, He-Man, goes against the evil forces of Skeletor to save the planet Eternia and to protect the secrets of Castle Grayskull.

To be Produced by: Joel Silver
To be Written by: Evan Daugherty
To be Directed by: John Stevenson


Nerf Ball (2012)

Tagline: It’s Not So Soft Anymore!

Summary: Nerf ball makes a comeback in this feature film. A handyman/zen master coaches a shy high schooler all the way to the Nerf Olympics. There, he must overcome bullies, drug addiction, and his fear to succeed.

Starring: Ralph Macchio, Elizabeth Shue, Pat Morita
Written by: William Zabka
Directed by: John G. Avildsen


Super Soaker 3000 (2011)

Tagline: Prepare to Get Soaked!


Summary: The cast of The Hangover reunite for this action-comedy of epic proportions. In the distant future, evil alien robots, whose only weakness is water, attempt to invade Mother Earth. A group of would be misfits and their super soakers come together to defend the planet and wipe out anything that gets in their way.

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifinakis, Ed Helms
Directed By: Todd Phillips

The Answers

I wouldn’t be shocked if everything on this list turns into a movie. (I wonder if I would get a producer credit?) But for now, the following 3 are actually being made. Click on the titles below for more details.
Now search through your old toys, and you, too, can be a Hollywood producer!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

UNDERRATED (Part II)

I know many of you have been waiting in anticipation for the rest of my underrated list. In case you missed it, click here for first part of my list: http://thecorner33.blogspot.com/2009/07/underrated.html

The following items, foods, sayings, TV shows, and people have all made my list. They may get acknowledged, but I feel they are underappreciated or taken for granted, and therefore UNDERRATED.

Without further ado, here is the rest of my list:

“HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER”

How I Met Your Mother finally got an Emmy nomination for best comedy series. It’s about time! Does that mean it’s still underrated? I think so. After four successful seasons, How I Met Your Mother still has not caught on with mainstream America in terms of viewers and TV ratings. It will never reach "Friends" status despite being as good if not better. And the question remains: why not?

I first started watching HIMYM 3 years ago when my roommate J-M turned me on to it. I expected nonsense like most modern day sitcoms, but the show was funny, original, clever, and poignant. Although it appears to be a Friends-like show, it actually reminds me more of an R-rated Wonder Years (Danica McKellar aka Winnie Cooper has actually guest starred in 2 episodes.) HIMYM is told in flashbacks and this time Bob Saget is the narrator instead of Daniel Stern. When I watch Wonder Years, it reminds me of my childhood; when I watch How I Met Your Mother, it reminds me of my life today. HIMYM discusses topics such as dating, relationships, sex, drugs/alcohol, food, work, getting older, living in NYC, sports, and pop culture (one of the best compliments I ever received was that my blog was reminiscent to How I Met Your Mother.)

For some reason, How I Met Your Mother is still not that popular. There is definitely a cult following, but that’s about it. Maybe it’s because the cast is unknown, but that’s not really true.

Neil Patrick Harris will always be remembered as Doogie Howser M.D. Since then, he’s made a comeback with the Harold and Kumar movies playing “himself.” And now he is Barney Stinson; the womanizing, catch phrase using, suit wearing, bro-code abiding dude with a heart. NPH has become so popular that he’s hosting the Emmy’s. Hopefully, he’ll be handing himself an Emmy for best supporting actor in a comedy series.

Alyson Hannigan is well known for hanging with Buffy and the gang as well as attending band camp in American Pie. She’s reached cult status for both of those roles. Now she plays Lily; the sweet married girl with an edge.

Jason Segel could be remembered from Freaks and Geeks; another show with a cult following. He disappeared for a while, but has reemerged with HIMYM. He plays Marshall; the goofy husband to Lily. He reminds me of one of my best friends who is also married. Segel recently wrote and starred in Forgetting Sarah Marshall which has catapulted him to stardom. Talk about underrated, FSM is one of my favorite movies of the last few years.

Cobie Smulders and Josh Radnor are the two only unknowns in the show. Radnor plays Ted, the main character, who is like a Ross from Friends but not annoying and actually funny. Smulders plays Robin, the hot Canadian tom-girl; kind’ve like Cameron Diaz in There’s Something About Mary.

Maybe HIMYM isn’t that popular because it’s not innovative or use enough pop culture references. But that’s not true either.

HIMYM has created its own terminology much like a little show called Seinfeld. Just a few of the terms include: The Hot-Crazy Scale, The Naked Man, Woo! Girls, and The Muraugh List. And if you watch consistently, you start referring to these terms during everyday life (if that’s not Seinfeld-esque, I don’t know what is.)

And if you’re a fan of pop culture references, HIMYM is right up there with Family Guy and The Simpsons. Some references have included: Field of Dreams, Lethal Weapon, Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, Doogie Howser M.D., Late Show with David Letterman and March Madness. And the references aren’t just thrown in for fun; they each have a relevant connection to the story or plot, and are usually funny and spot on.

Maybe the show is underrated because it’s too cheesy? Or maybe because it’s too smart?

Seinfeld made it cool to be a little dark and edgy which is very hard to pull off. Since then, many shows have tried to follow that path. But How I Met Your Mother has stood strong about having a heart and being a little cheesy. At the end of episodes, even the really silly ones, there is a clever lesson to be learned. It makes you think; it makes you smile; and many times, it gives you goosebumps. Once again, it has a Wonder Years feel to it.

The show is incredibly well written. If something happens in the 1st act, it almost always has a pay off by the end of the episode. The sub-plots are generally tied together in a clever and subtle way much like a Seinfeld. HIMYM also plays with time to create original twists that you might not see coming.

Maybe the cheesiness and cleverness is actually too difficult for the average American viewer. Maybe TV has become so simple that How I Met Your Mother actually goes over people’s heads. It’s sad to say, but maybe that’s why it’s so underrated.

Maybe it’s better to be underrated.

Sometimes, shows go downhill once they reach the height of their popularity (see Friends.) The plots get thinner, the characters become predictable, and the laugh track grows louder. So maybe it’s good that How I Met Your Mother is still not that popular. It’s still the underdog and will have to continue to be clever, innovative, and funny to earn viewers.

If you want to give the show a chance, there are re-runs on Monday nights on Lifetime. (Lifetime also shows Frasier, and is turning in to a pretty good network even for guys. Did I just write that?) New episodes appear on CBS on Monday September 21st at 8pm, one night after the Emmy’s.

So I don't know why How I Met Your Mother isn't more popular, but if you start watching, I promise you will soon learn why it’s Legend- (wait for it) –dary!

SPORTS FROM OUR CHILDHOOD

These sports include kickball, dodgeball, wiffle ball, and ping-pong to name a few. It’s taken a while, but lots of these sports/games are making a comeback in the adult world. And it’s about time. These games are all great, but they somehow escaped our minds as we grew up. Many of my friends (men and women) now take part in kickball and dodgeball leagues all over the country. The most popular co-ed league in NYC is called Zog sports. It allows men and women to play old school games together in a competitive yet comfortable atmosphere. Afterwards, they get beers, and try to hook up with one another. It’s a wonderful thing.

Click here for more details on wiffle ball: http://thecorner33.blogspot.com/2009/06/summer-fun-wiffle-ball.html

Games like dodgeball allow grown men to unleash their anger and hostility. Throwing a foam ball in someone’s grill could be one of the most cathartic experiences around. My brother is in a league, and said it gets so intense, that one team attacked the referee when they didn’t like a call. Perhaps, childhood games have a way of making one regress into a little kid. While beating the crap out of a college age referee who makes $8/hour is going a little overboard, being youthful and having fun certainly is not.

What about ping-pong?

Billiards caught on with the bar scene, but why not ping-pong? Growing up, I had epic battles with the Erics, and several people at camp. In fact, I don’t know anyone that doesn’t like ping-pong. Even people that suck get a kick out of hitting the ball back and forth. If Forrest Gump could master it, maybe you can too. Wouldn’t you be psyched if bars offered ping-pong? I know I would. If I ever build my own bar, ping-pong will definitely be offered, and you are all welcome to play.

THE “BLESS YOU”

Everyone takes the “bless you” for granted until you sneeze one day in front of people, and it is silent. You wait for the words, but they are never spoken, and you feel a little empty inside. And then you realize how great the “bless you” really is.

The “bless you” is the one time strangers can actually recognize each other. I don’t know how it got started, but I like it. It makes everyone feel like they’re a part of something. So when it’s not said, I feel a little sad. Sometimes, I say “bless me”, but it doesn’t have the same effect, and it also makes me feel like a loser. “Gesundheit!” is acceptable as well as “you’re so good looking” in reference to Seinfeld, but I prefer the “bless you.”

Why should people get attention for sneezing? Why not? It’s a tradition that brings people together. The only sneezer I’m wary of is the wild sneezer; he doesn't cover his mouth, there are fluids, and he possibly has the swine flu. This person should still garner the “bless you”, but only from a safe distance.

THE BATH


I still remember a friend calling in me in high school while I was in the tub. My mother answered and explained that I was in the bath. The next day I was teased mercifully by my friends. “You still take baths?” Yes, I am a man. And yes, I love baths.

When we were little kids, we all took baths. We’d play with boats; make bubble beards, and fill up pales and let the water cascade over us. But for some reason, when boys became men, we were supposed to give that all up. But why?

Baths are soothing and peaceful, and they give you time to think and be by yourself. There are no distractions so you can just put your feet up and relax. You can lie in a tub filled with warm water and a mixture of soaps and oils like vanilla, jasmine, ginger, lavender, and honey. Yes, even honey. And if you're really lucky, maybe you can get a girl to join you too.

Unfortunately, there are very few tubs clean enough for a bath so I save them for visits home or really nice hotels.

Even though I’m a man, I openly admit to loving baths. It’s time to we all admitted how great they really are.

THE NAP


In other countries, the nap is highlighted with great importance. The “siesta” or the after lunch nap is quite common outside of the U.S. I don’t know why it never caught on here because naps are amazing. It may be light outside, but you don’t care. You throw on a fan or your AC, crawl on top of your bed, and seal your eyes shut for just a few minutes. Even a 30 minute nap re-energizes your mind and body. You awake with positive energy; with a purpose; with a new found perspective on the day. The only con of the nap is overdoing it. If you sleep for two hours during the day, there’s no way you’re falling asleep at a normal hour that night. But if regulated responsibly, the nap can be an amazing activity.

OTHER PEOPLE’S PARENTS

Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother. We love our parents, but sometimes they push our buttons, and drive us crazy.

Well, what about other people’s parents? Maybe it’s just me, but I almost always get along with other people’s parents. There is no pressure on me or the parents. We can have serious talks, silly talks, whatever. In the end, they’re not gonna yell at me because they’re not my parents. And I’m not gonna be mad at them for the same reason. As a result, we can just hang out.

Following the same model, my parents love my friends. They often ask me: “Why can’t you be more like so and so? He tucks in his shirt…Wears nice shoes… Has a lovely Jewish wife.”

Parents can only see the positive side of the non-child so they think they’re awesome.

It’s rarely talked about how great other people’s parents can be. That’s why they’re so underrated.

THE SECRET HIDDEN WORK BATHROOM

Everyone needs a place of solitude when doing their business. In the workplace, it can be quite vexing to find a private, uninterrupted, and clean setting. Everyone does their business (except women of course), but you don’t want to feel judged. You don’t want to open that stall door, and be greeted awkwardly by another co-worker who is about to pass out. As a result, you do your best to hold in your business until you get home. But sometimes, that’s just not possible.

That’s when you stumble upon a bathroom that no one else knows about. It’s like finding Atlantis or the Lost City of Gold. Now, you can do your business in peace and quiet. There’s no threat of someone walking in and judging you.

The secret bathroom will always be underrated because it can never be spoken about. If you tell a co-worker, it will no longer be your special place. Instead, take a moment now and just appreciate the secret, hidden work bathroom if you are lucky enough to have one. ("How I Met Your Mother" uses this as a plotline in a recent episode; I pat myself on the back for writing about it years ago although I have no way to prove it.)

THANK YOU

Good manners can be a little underrated. So thanks again for reading. Now go watch How I Met Your Mother.